That

Gabriel 2Gabriel

Here I sit,
naked in my body

Though I am wearing clothes
I am totally bare

My flesh is bleeding,
my joints are aching
tears are burning behind closed eyelids

But I am not this

I am not this body,
not this mind

I am not these emotions,
this anger, this frustration
locked up in a cage

I am not the tiger, the lion or the bird

The curves bending on my road do not define me

I am not alone, not lonely

This bitterness and anger stuck in my throat
is part of this body, of this mind
maybe even of the experience of this soul

But I am not this

I am all pervading love,
all pervading innocence

I am the candle, the flame, the flickering

I am the sky, the seas, the seeds

Not as they are seen,
how they are felt

I am not this pain in my back,
I am not the hungry stomach screaming for food while the heart is screaming for care,
for forgiveness,
for excuses and reasons

I am that,
all that

but not this

Deep is the gap,
close is the brink

Still the gap does not exist,
the brink is but a mind game

Feel the wind whispering in your face,
feel the sun move the earth
Feel the gravel on your skin
the moist touch of moss behind your ears

You, Earth, Me, Who?

Why a line, why a difference?

I am not this naked body,
this bleeding skin
I am not this watchful eye,
this blessing tortoise

I am what I don´t know,
what I cannot grasp

I am the graspless
the hungry, the thirsty and the satisfied
all at the same time

I am all,
all I am
I am

Stars, universes, galaxies,
who cares?

Headaches, rituals,
curses or blessed be

Who is that?
Not me

Love and stars and love and all,
all I am
I am

That.

Cecilia Götherström, May 2013

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