Dec 14th, The Promise, Part 14

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Underneath the star covered sky we stared in to the darkness. The darkness intensified by the glowing stars, the light intensified by the darkness.

Orion had begun his walk across the heavens, followed by his canines. Ursa Major was climbing gently upwards.

Our whole intervowen clan was gathered. All of us who had journeyed together to this point together with all of those who had welcomed us in to the mountain, to the Upper Glacier, right here at the top of the icy crown.

As we looked up towards the sparkling sky something started moving. Out of Ursa Major, the body of a large bear started taking shape. She floated out of the star cluster like a hologram, drifting closer. Followed by another bear, and another, and another. Mother Bear. Father Bear. Little Bear. Grandfather Bear.

”Gentle beings”, Mother Bear spoke. ”You are about to receive The Medicine of the Bear. The Medicine of the the one walking long distances, of the one with swimming powers, of the one with the paws connected deep into the roots of the earth while living in the celestial legends. The Medicine of the one who masters the powers of fight, rest, sleep and awakening, of playing and teaching. The strongest Medicine in the universe as you know it now. It will lead you in to, and be your constant companion in, the universe you are about to become. Welcome.”

A falling star.

Father Bear inhaled, icy smoke coming out of his jaws as he looked us all in the eyes one by one. ” You know the eyes are the doors to the soul. But did you know the heart is the portal ? You can only receive the Medicine of the one you are about to become through unlocking the doors first. The doors open the portal. Yet the doors and the portal are not separate from each other. Once the eyes are truly unlocked the force opening the heart is directed with a power as strong as the sword of Merlin.”

Little Bear moved closer. Curled up in between Mother Bear and Father Bear.

Gazing up towards Ursa Major I saw more hologram bears pouring out – Brown Bear, Red Bear, Spirit Bear, Polar Bear, Raccoon, Black Bear, many, many more. They all carried the same eyes, moving in their own flows.

The Samoyeds started their drumming. The wolves and huskies tuned in with their howling. Both drumming and howling coming from deep below, inside the mountain, inside the heart of this very glacier-carrying granite and moonstone giant.

Something else moved across the sky, as if riding on The Milky Way.

– Cecilia Götherström, Dec 14th 2018

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Dec 13th / The Promise, Part 13

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The soft, soft snoring of Fox – inhale, exhale, inspire, expire, wssssss, wsssss – gently woke me up. It wasn´t as much Silent Night, Holy Night as it was Holy Morning. December 13th.

The whole crew was still sleeping.

I lightly curled my fingertips in to Fox´s soft bellyfur, softly brushing her ribcage – her favourite form of bellyrub. Yellow eyes woke up, looked into my soul.
”Let´s go outside”, I whispered. ”Let´s witness the rising of the morning star.”

In one go Fox did a 180 in the air, went from lying on her back to standing on all four paws in a split second, yawned, stretched out. We tiptoed and tippawed towards the opening of this huge ballrom inside the mountain.

The stars were high in the sky, the milkyway at the height of our eyes .

The snow creaked under my feet. Fox`s paws made no sound at all.
”That´s why you people so often stay in 3rd dimension, ” Fox laughed. ”Because you walk so heavy!” She rolled around in the snow, laughing at her own joke till she almost choked.

”Waaaaaah, how I love this bundle of joy, my own little gingerbiscuit, my pepparkaka! ” I yelled out to the universe, laughing along with her.

We rounded the fourth granite giant, heading up the steep part of the glacier. I found myself on hands and feet at times when it got really close to vertical.

Up there the horizon opened up. Covered with distant mountaintops, dark treelines, blistered with millions, billions, trillions of stars glowing like heartdiamonds unobtruded. The morning star, Venus, the brightest, slight pinkish-yellow light waking up as the morning started breaking through.

”I have something for you, ” Fox said. She started digging in the snow, jumping up and down at times to speed the burrowing up. Then she stopped. ”Look!”
I peeked down in to the hole. A black velvet pouch. I laid down on my belly to reach down for it.

”Let me!” Fox nudged me with her nose. She climbed down in what actually looked like it could be her winter den, came back up with the pouch in her jaws, put it down in front of me.

As the sun started rising in the sky I opened the velvety package. My eyes froze as I saw the most exquisite, multifacetted, alivelooking, full of attitude and gentleness rainbow quartz ever.
”It is called ”Fire and Ice”. It holds your promise”, Fox gleamed.

Sankta Lucia, ljusklara hägring.

My heart woke up.

– Cecilia Götherström, 13 December, Lucia, 2018

Dec 12th, The Promise, Part 12

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The wind seemed to come at us from all sides. No matter where you turned it hit you in the face, in the back, made you fall to the side. It was so strong we´d had to tie ourselves to the sleds. It felt like ice whipping your face every time a gust picked up. Still it felt somewhat normal, like exactly what you´d expect at a place like this called The Upper Glacier.

Wizard waved at us to turn a bit more left, towards the rocks we could barely see through the blizzard.

Poor little Jake was so small that any sudden shift in wind would wipe him all the way back down to the lake, so he´d been tucked in deep under blankets and cushions in a soft cave of his own. In my mind I could hear him really curious about where we were, what we saw, how it felt, when we´d get there and on and on and on.

Owl and Raven sat on the handles of the sled.

As soon as we turned in direction of the rocks the wind seemed to die down a bit. We were protected by the reclining glacier and those four beautiful giants of granite.

”Holy moly not so holy night”. Hawk came to life, shaking his head and wings. He´d been travelling on Wizard´s sled. ”What a whooping welcome by the glacier! I guess we ain´t climbing any tops to skip through Ursa Major tonight then!”

”You never know, you never know, you just know when you know which is why you never need to guess”, Raven croaked his way.

Right then and there the wind seemed to cease whining and started singing instead. Gently, puffing almost. The sound of a crackling log fire, of violins coming out of a crevasse in between the granite giants. A flute. The tunes of ”What Child Is This” was welcoming us. A guitar added to the chorus. Wow.

We tied up the sleds and moved towards the music, all of us. Huskies, Samoyeds, Shibas, Wolves, Raven, Hawk, Fox, Owl, Jake, Wizard and myself.

The light from the open fire and candles shone through the opening. In there the Cold Mountain Trolls, The Higher Silver Alves had prepared a feast. Long wodden and stone tables, plenty of bowls for the fourleggeds, high branches for the winged ones, silver blankets for all travellers. What a welcome!

– Cecilia Götherström, December 12th 2018

Dec 11th / The Promise, Part 11

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The crustfrozen snow made a sizzling, crackling sound as our skis cut through the thin surface. We had set our course direction Upper Glacier again. The ascent from this side of the lake was said to be a lot easier and less dreary than our long journey across the Lower Glacier.

The Husky Queens, Samoyed Knights and Shiba Pushers had made lunch camp up ahead. The view from up here was magic.

I stopped, shoved my poles in the snow, hung my lovikavantar on them as I took in the magic view over the valley below. The glittery frozen on the banks open in the centre river twirling towards High Lake. The reflection of the dancing shadows the soft, fresh snow made as it was being blown to and fro in the wind as if making music. The pines to one side, the cedar forest on the other. The pack of wolves leading us ahead – a mixture of White´s gracious, ancient tribe and Grey´s somewhat younger Rolling Stones style crowd.

I heard large wings flapping in the air. Who?

I knew Owl had to be up ahead with the wolves, and Raven?

Anytime there was any sort of food or drink to be prepared Raven was sure to be there first of all, I could hear him across the white landscape chattering in lunch camp.

A buzzard hawk almost landed in my face! I saw his eyes as surprised as mine as I was facing his claws on their way to touchdown. I swept my head to the side just in time.

”Jeeeeezessss!”, he settled in the snow next to my skis. ”You´ve got to get some other type of headgear! What you´re wearing looks strikingly like the top of a moss-covered old tree to a slightly sleepy hawk.”

”My apologies, sir”, I removed the beanie I´d recieved from Nisse years earlier. ”You mean this old thing?”

The buzzard nodded.

”It is actually quite nice I see now. Handcrafted by a true NisseMor I see. Not many of those around out in the open any more unfortunately”. He proceeded to fly up and post himself on the lovikavantar at the top of my skipoles.

”I´ve been sent by the matriarch of The Little People. The Nisse, the Vättar, The Moutain Dwarfs and The Silver Alves. It´s not wise to go jump through Ursa Major without the blessings and promises of these tribes, which I am bringing you as their messenger. ”It´s a quest of the soul” are their words.”

A quest of the soul?

Then and there I realized that my soul had started talking to me, as the poem which sprung out of my pen the day before finally made sense to me;

”Candlelight, chestnuts and pinecones

Christmastree,
it is just you and me

Comfort, life, breath
Pineneedles, light, sacredness

I stop,
I forget
in a way which makes me re-member

you came from a slope,
which was once me,
specks of atoms, of dust
you grew out of snow
I was

yesterday,
today,
tomorrow,
now

It all just is.
We all just are.

Christmastree,
you and me
are just dreams of traditions,
of what is and what is to come
Nothing more.
Nothing less.

You in my livingroom,
I in your forest.

It all blends,
in this moment
tomorrow
now
then
there
when
who cares?

Let us sing,
let us be the charol.

Have you not always dreamed,
like me,
to be carried out on a chord,
to slide down a tune
echoing in to the wilderness
with nothing to stop you
sounding

Who cares?
What cares?

Let us sing with the stars,
soak the light in to our hearts
Like the candles on your branches,
let us shine through the night

Midvinterblot,
I hail thee

My roots are deeper than the mountain
My home is stronger than my heart
My soul echoes through eons

Take my hand,
carry me away

While remaining here,
watching,
re-membering
taking in your light
Oh Christmastree, oh Christmastree
of Odins heart so strong

Hel.
Whole.
Hel.
Helig.
Holy

Oh , holy night.

Åh, helga natt.

Home.”

– Cecilia Götherström, Dec 11th 2018

Dec 10th / The Promise, Part 10

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”Melvinia. Melviniaaaa. Wake uuuuup”, a soft voice was whispering me out of sleep. I openend one eye. Fox was there, next to Jake the yellow necked mouse.

”The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don´t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don´t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don´t go back to sleep.”

”Reciting Rumi as a wakeup call are we?”

They both smiled and nodded vigourously at me as Raven flew in through the opening.

”Awake are we? Pardon the pun!” he croaklaughed so hard he had to make a frontflip not to fall flat on the ground.

I sat up. The smell of coffee and scones cooked over open fire flowed through the door of the kåta, blendend with the scent of a very cold, crisp morning. Yes!!!

The morning sun was working it´s rays across the crusty snow, shining through in on floor clad in pine twigs.

I got out of the sleeping bag, pulled the anorak over my head, got my arctic pants on, laced up my näbbstövlar, popped my head out and took in the fresh air with the longest inhale ever.

Wizard and Grey were immersed a deep conversation regarding the aligment of the stars in December of 1088 as the coffee was boling over on the fire .

”GoodmornigStar Gentlemen”. I could not help myself.

”Top of the morning to you”, Wizard replied faster than a smash from the net during Wimbledon finals. Grey stretched out and yawned.

As I sat there with White Wizard and Grey Wolf, Raven, Fox and Jake, watching the morning star rising as one with the slow moving sun just above the treeline I felt what I can only describe as pure, true joy from inside for the first time in a long, long time.

”You might think that circumstances and the place where you are right now is what makes you feel like this dear child.” Whites voice came not through my mind this time but from behind me. Tears of joy froze instantly on my cheeks as I met her gaze from the pile of snow she´d built . ”It is not. You made a choice. You let go of what was not yours to hold. Of what had been piled on you. Of the conditioning of ”this and that is your duty”. Through that you made a choice to walk through the round open door every time you feel yourself falling. You made an active choice to be happy my child. You did.”

Cecilia Götherström, Dec 10th 2018

 

Dec 9th / The Promise, Part 9

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Just a few seconds feel like a long time. Yet time does so not exist here.
I am about to observe what happened lifetimes ago. Nevertheless when I am there it feels like yesterday. For some reason it feels like I already know what I am about to understand.

The village is encircled by rolling lush hillsides and mountaintops capped with summer frost. This is his people.

We met picking poppies in the fields. He just back from the last war. Me leaving the sacred grasses of the lowlands behind. Leaving my people behind. The people of the winds, the seas the hearts and the storms.

Among the mountains I found peace. Wisdom. We lived according to the ancient samurai code, ordained from the times before the emperors. What was to later be called The Tao guided us. We all flowed with it. The entire village. From the outside it might have looked like a hard life up there in the mountains. From the inside we bloomed, the mountain bloomed, all was sacred.

Ambush.

One day he travelled with four of the sons of the village to meet with the people down the river, the Fisherfolks. The five of them never arrived. The five of them never came back. At least not on horseback.

At the time of the funeral pyre it seemed natural to the whole village that ”the she” should suceed as our lives, our practice, our guidance had intertwined and interwoven like one. The Tao told to handle every big matter like it was small, every small matter like it was big. I accepted.

My practice thrived. The village thrived. The children thrived. Yet inside there was a hole growing deeper and stronger. I knew we would meet again, so it was not his energy I was missing. I knew next time I would be the teacher, he needing me.

That day in the poppy field I had made a promise to myself, to fill my true purpose with all my heart and soul. I was there holding ceremony. No matter how much peace, joy and fulfillment the deviation of path right now was gifting to the world around me, this was not the path. It had been the best school ever. I had even more to dive into. I was filled to the brim with gratefulness, but it was time to leave.

How does one leave four young children and a whole village? One doesn´t.

I hear wolves howling. A crying howl , looking for a missing wolfpup. It touches the soul of my bones. I know I have to and that I can let go now. Let go of a promise not mine still and all fulfilled in the Land of The Dragon. Meet The Promise to fulfill in my soul, the cry in the wild.

Arigatou gozaimashita.

  • Cecilia Götherström, Dec 9th 2018

Dec 8th / The Promise, part 8

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All of a sudden I felt intensly tired. All the travelling, the journey, the light – or the lack of it – , the long nights. Large spots in my memory had been whiped clean.

”There is really nothing to remember”, I could hear White say through my mind from afar. ”All that exists is here and now. The past is a reflection. The future is a reflection. When you stop, sit down and see then all comes together in this one moment. Magic. Understanding. Alchemy. Morphing. Forgiveness. Release. Letting go. Welcoming in.”

What would I do, where would I be without this wise Wolf Queen of mine?

”Glooooooooooria, in excelcis deeeo”, a childhood memory sang its thread through my mind. A soft breeze touched my cheek. Flying sparkles of gold movning swiftly through the cold evening air. Fairies!

The fae takes many shapes and forms. I knew that from my great grandma´s renderings.

These were gorgeous, glitterly, sweepingly strong as they danced around our shoulders, swirling a path for us out on to the ice.

Dragon was unwinding on the other side of the lake after her ordeal of making sure we got all the signs the Great Mother had wanted us to see. DragonWhite had cleared what she herself called Mirror Patches on the ice. I followed the fairies to one of them. Sat down. Kneeled over the open space while wiping the last dust of snow from the clear, dark surface. Something rolled across I could see in the corner of my eye. Little green stones. Malachites! A memory of a very dear soul sister from the far north. It made me smile inwards. I knew I was at the right spot.

Fox motioned over from the snowcave she´d built herself, sat down next to me, locked my eyes with hers. ”I am here with you all the way Sister”.

Time to let the soul peek in to the depths of the ice on High Lake.

At first it was just greyish. Like heavy rainclouds slowly growing lighter. The deeper my gaze sank the more the clouds opened up. Travelling through a thin veil I saw the Land of the Dragon taking shape below . Cherry blossom on their last day of bloom, petals falling gently to the ground. People gathering under the trees offering them all their love, admiration and connection. Further up ahead,  the mud road passing through the field of cherry trees were leading up the soft hills trailing towards the mountain range which legend here held was holding up the sky. My village from back then was somewhere among those mountains.

In an instant I knew what was about to happen.

 

  • Cecilia Götherström, Dec 8th 2018