Dec 1st – The Promise, part I

185977_327645693993413_131313673_n

”And so it begins…”
With amber eyes she caresses every movement my mind makes, living in the depths of my soul as she speaks. With the voice of a mother she holds my intention in hers.

”Outside the comfort zone, new challenge is what it may feel like,” she hums.
” Going deep within, taking on the Journey to fulfill the ancient promise is what it really is. Go my child. Go to come home.”

The wind is suddenly picking up, icy air is turning my ears in to frosty red bundles. My lovikavantar protecting my hands from the cold.

Right here, right now, there is nothing strange at all about sitting in between her front paws, her entire wolfness envelopping me with a beauty my heart has never witnessed before. Right here, right now, the fact that this fluffy raven and I are about to go on what will be a very, very long hike is anything but strange.

”So”, the white wolf whispers. ”You have been here before. It´s the 7th year. 21 days. It is time. They are all here. Meru, Nisse, Bertil, Pe, the dragons, the giants, the trolls, the little people, everyone. 7 years you queens have been building this portal. Dragging stones, moving and planting roots, digging deep, decorating with dreams, wishes, strength, power. Overwon despeair, dis-ease, grief, moved mountains to get this portal ready. With your magic you have ornamented thesed doors in 4 different ways while remaining as one. It is time to open the gateway. To merge with what is on the other side. To look all your fears in the eye to be able to turn them in to gold. In to gold and silver dust.”

She changes the seat of her paws, softening her gaze, allowing for the moon and the stars to glow through her white coat as she lightly yawns before capturing me in her eyes again.
”These dances have been going on since ancient times, like the swirling breath of of the winter hunters”, she continues. ” Since ancient times some have listened, some have stayed, some have returned, others have not. This time we need to return all together. This time there will be no veil. We all have to do this together. It´s a choice to save not just what we have but what we truly are. It is our last chance to create this New Earth, through returning to the ancient wisdom.”

I know it is time to go. Time to pick up and leave. It is not that I am dreading it, it is more like ”Why? Why is December 1st always the beginning of the next big move? Why can it not just be a soft, glittery, curly and gentle way into the favourite season of the year?”

Raven chuckles. ”You´re funny”. Flapping her wings. ”You know soft, fluffy, gentle and all that won´t go down at all with that inner spirit of yours. We will fluff enough in between journeys, I promise. But now we really have to embark.”

– Cecilia Götherström, Dec 1st 2018

Resolution

wolf

In our monthly Writer’s Cirlce last week, Kathy came up with the challenging writing exercise to spend 10 minutes speed writing about the subject “Resolution” and to write it on dialogue.
Below are my five minutes and I thought that if I blog it, it has to “be continued”….

“Wake up. Wake up. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake uuuuup!”, a soft voice was sounding in my head. I turned around only to find no one else awake. Just two sleeping dogs on the floor and one snoring husband on my right.

I closed my eyes.

“Waaaaaake uuuuup!”

I sat up straight, putting my feet on the cold floor and there was the voice again;
“Finally! Now put your coat on, grab a cuppa and meet me outside!”

Where the heck did this voice come from? So clear it was too.

I found myself fumbling through the dark in the kitchen, getting a tea mug out of the cupboard, talking out loud in a muffled voice;
“Who are you? Why can I not just go back to bed? What is this crazy stuff going on here?”

Kettle boiled. Tea, honey and milk mixing in the mug and I have gloves, boots, down coat and a beanie covering me and my PJ’s up.

Out on the terrace I speak out towards the dark night;
“OK, you’ve got me out here. What do you want now?, and as I did I realized I was actually not irritated, but curious.
“I am here, to your right”.

I look to the right.
White snow, fir trees in the back where the forests meets the fields, a bright starry sky above and … two yellow eyes staring right at me.

“Uh!” I jump up, spilling hot tea all over my new boots. “Shit!”
Right there is a huge white wolf staring right at me, two smaller grey ones by its side.

The eyes look deep into mine and then towards the fields.
“Let’s go for a walk”.

“A walk”, I say. “The snow is 70 cm deep. Are you out of your mind? A walk?”

“OK”.
– Is that a sigh I detect from grey wolf # I?
“get your darn ski’s out then and ski along.”

“This is totally insane, completely nuts, I am not here, I am not awake, this is not happening”, I hear myself saying as I muck about the mess in the garage to find my red cross country ski’s at 3 in the morning.
“Oh yes it is, and oh no you are not”.

What is my souls journey?

whitewolf

In our Writer’s Circle today, Niamh gave us the theme “What is my souls journey”, which we wrote while the shamanic journey drum was playing in the background for 15 minutes.
We were all in awe of what our pens brought out, and if it had not been for the feedback and direct interpretation of my dear writing friends Jo, Kathy and Niamh I would still be a “sitting question mark”.

Drumming heartbeat, taking me away,
Shimmering, vague, strong and eerie at the same time.
Where are we going, where are we going?

To your deep destination, deep within.

White wolves and white wizards.

We are all journeying together.

It is denser, more tangible, yet strangely see through.
Magic.
Lots of outside “noises”; phones going off, dogs fighting cars
– They are here but yet not here.

We are on the other side of the veil.

There we go again…
…travelling on a soft, sheer, white piece of silk.
Journeying further away, but still here.

White wolves and white wizards.

Stars on a bright dark sky.

Time to save the planet, to save the cold.

Snow glimmering in the night,
harsh, frozen crystals like stars on the forest floor.
Feet gliding above the snow.
Stars brighter, sky more velvety black.

The message is breathed out through steamy voices;

go, go, go,
flow, flow, flow,
let flow do, do, do.

Sit in your own stillness, coolness,
like the white wizard.
Roam the snowy fields and the barren lands
like the white wolf.
Move among people
like the blue wizard, the grey wolf.

Observe, communicate, transform.

The veil will get thinner,
white will meet grey.

There is song there,
creation, celebration, mysticism and reality.

Through the cold from the north comes a new birth.
Icy waters from glacial places, cleansing.

Bring out the light, the creativity.
Share it.

White wizard, white wolf are here to not retreat
but to merge.

Icy waters wash in the spring.
Slow spring,
flowers breaking the cracks in the granite wide open.
birthing towards the sun.

Feel the sun warm the grey,
the granite, the city,
the smog, the dirty waters.

Blue wizards bring green.
Green brings clarity, cleanliness,
new.

High waves washing the shores,
washing the mind.
New white Earth springing from the ocean.

Deer roaming wild, poets living their mind,
white flowers, old people, smiling children.
Blue, light blue cities.
Dawning light.

Expectation. No fear,
just curiosity and joy.

What is to come, what is to come….?

Cecilia Gotherstrom, July 2012